Monday, May 17, 2010

Response To Doesn't Like Douches: Love Is Blind

Two days ago, I received the following letter:

I have a good friend whose boyfriend (of almost 3 years) I cannot stand. He’s obnoxious, bigoted, uneducated, hates her gay male friends (...and girlfriends... and straight guy friends), tries to control how she spends her money… He’s jealous, ruins most social outings, disrespects her privacy and is an all-round douche of a human being. He’s done enough douchey things that I just can’t get over it, even though she “can.” They both understand that I dislike him.

After a couple years of trying to "play nice", last summer I told her I never want to see him again. This has so far been pretty easy to do since they don’t live together, and he likely won’t ever commit to her in a meaningful way. Just wondering though, am I going too far? Should I just accept it and try to be civil with him? Not refusing to see him would mean doing more social things with my friend, and now that I am dating someone too, doing things together might be an option. I'm running out of good excuses to say no to hanging out (when he's involved), although she's silly for even bothering to ask me.

Also – what if they DO move in together?

Should I stick to my guns and pretend he doesn’t exist and wait around for when they inevitably break up?

I would like my advice to be in the form or an 80s pop song… or a folk song. Whichever works best!

-Doesn't Like Douches

I decided to challenge myself and go for the folk song option. The result is mildly horrific:

Yeah...guitar is not my main instrument...

Stay tuned for more musical advice. I've been getting some pretty great letters lately. Keep them coming, world! I'm kinda having a blast with this. :)


  1. lalalalalauren - Found you on 20sb. Love your blog! This is definitely the 1st singing advice column I've ever seen but its such a neat idea! Also the part about "I would recommend homicide but it's illegal and not very mature." That was awesome!

  2. are those chickens wandering around in the background??

  3. Good advice. 3 years is a long time. I hope her friend figures it out. Love IS the answer and hate IS wrong, so there you go!

  4. So, I'm a big fan of country music and I've lived the classic country song life, every woman I've loved has left me in my pick-up truck with my dog. Well, I've seen this video and I was wondering if you could right me a similar song that makes women fall in love with me. Could you write me a country western love song?

  5. This one is pretty great! I'm so glad you did this - I'm loving the results.

  6. Thank you so very much for this song :) It's wonderful to hear someone else's thoughts on the situation - I will try my best to play nice.. all the while still hoping she "gets it" herself.
    I love the line about getting her a seeing eye dog for her mind!
    Thanks again! Keep up the good work!
    -Doesn't Like Douches