Tuesday, May 11, 2010


When I was in the sixth grade, I had an advice column in the school newspaper. I added the word "Doctor" in front of my name and offered advice that was at times controversial. Soon, the whole school was hooked on my page of the paper. The column was read and discussed by both kids and teachers alike. Some people loved it. Some people hated it. It almost got yanked from the paper a couple of times. Occasionally, kids threatened to beat me up on the playground because of it.

I found the whole thing to be incredibly entertaining, especially since no one knew the dark secret behind Doctor Lauren's advice column. No one ever wrote letters to me asking for advice, so I wrote letters to myself on a weekly basis and responded to them as if they were real. I usually wasn't very nice in my responses, but it didn't matter since I wasn't writing to real people. Of course, I was the only one who knew this secret (besides my mother, who often helped me come up with the fake letters). Though controversial, Doctor Lauren became somewhat of a sixth grade legend.

I have not attempted to maintain an advice column or anything of the sort since then. I thought I had gotten it all out of my system in the sixth grade. But recently, I came up with this bird-brained idea and thought it was worth trying out. So here it is:

This is an advice column. You can ask me for advice on anything and I will come up with some sort of profound answer for you. Need insight on how to deal with a situation at work? Having trouble with your love life? Don't know what to make for dinner? Leave your troubles in a comment or shoot me an email (hi.im_lauren@hotmail.com) and I will respond to you in this blog.

Of course, there is a catch. This is not your grandmother's advice column. This is a musical advice column. That's right. I will respond to you in the form of a song. I will record a video of it and slap it onto a blog post.

I can play various instruments and am very versatile when it comes to styles. So when you write to me, please specify what style of song you'd like to hear your advice performed in. Also, if you have a preference of instrument, please notify me of this. I can play piano, keyboard, keytar, accordion, and cowbell. I can't promise you that my advice will always be useful, but at the very least it will be entertaining and probably pretty catchy.

And unlike the sixth grade, I am not going to write letters to myself this time. So, this thing depends on you. Go ahead. Ask for advice and you shall receive it in musical form. :)


  1. So, there is this boy I like at school and he has this band. He is the drummer and the other guys in the band are callow. I don't like them, but he always hangs out with them. So I have to hang out with them when I hang out with him. One of them suggested I be their groupie. My question is thus, wgat would I have to do as a groupie?

  2. Thanks Kelli!

    And Candice, great question. I have a musical response cooked up just for you, will post it soon. :)

  3. This sounds hilarious and amazing. And extremely creative!! Go you!!

    Hmm. Im not sure what I need advice on. Though if you did give me advice, I would certainly link to it from my blog (as everyone who receives your advice should, I'd think.)

    Im bookmarking your blog until I come up with something. :)

  4. Awesome idea. Can't wait to see the musical advice responses! :)