Response to Lonely Lonestar: An Abysmal "Country" Song

Hey! It's been a crazy week around here. I'm kinda exhausted right now, but wanted to enlighten the universe with this fine nugget of musical weirdness before I crash for the night.

Got this comment last week sometime (from someone by the name of Lonely Lonestar):

So, I'm a big fan of country music and I've lived the classic country song life, every woman I've loved has left me in my pick-up truck with my dog. I was wondering if you could right me a song that makes women fall in love with me.

I'm not sure how to right a song. Maybe I can left you a song.

Okay, I'm done being obnoxious.

No, I lied. I'm really just beginning.



Hehe.

I'm gonna sleep now. Will have more songs up soon. Keep the letters rolling in. :D

Response To Doesn't Like Douches: Love Is Blind

Two days ago, I received the following letter:

I have a good friend whose boyfriend (of almost 3 years) I cannot stand. He’s obnoxious, bigoted, uneducated, hates her gay male friends (...and girlfriends... and straight guy friends), tries to control how she spends her money… He’s jealous, ruins most social outings, disrespects her privacy and is an all-round douche of a human being. He’s done enough douchey things that I just can’t get over it, even though she “can.” They both understand that I dislike him.

After a couple years of trying to "play nice", last summer I told her I never want to see him again. This has so far been pretty easy to do since they don’t live together, and he likely won’t ever commit to her in a meaningful way. Just wondering though, am I going too far? Should I just accept it and try to be civil with him? Not refusing to see him would mean doing more social things with my friend, and now that I am dating someone too, doing things together might be an option. I'm running out of good excuses to say no to hanging out (when he's involved), although she's silly for even bothering to ask me.

Also – what if they DO move in together?

Should I stick to my guns and pretend he doesn’t exist and wait around for when they inevitably break up?

I would like my advice to be in the form or an 80s pop song… or a folk song. Whichever works best!

-Doesn't Like Douches

I decided to challenge myself and go for the folk song option. The result is mildly horrific:

Yeah...guitar is not my main instrument...

Stay tuned for more musical advice. I've been getting some pretty great letters lately. Keep them coming, world! I'm kinda having a blast with this. :)