Response to Jane: To Glee Or Not To Glee

Got a letter from the lovely Jane that said the following:

I really love the show Glee, but my boyfriend doesn't. Should I force him to watch with me, or should I let him watch hockey in the basement?

Allow me to sit on my floor in my pajamas and sing about this dilemma:



Special guest appearance courtesy of my dog. He agrees with me on the fact that every girl deserves a man who will subject themselves to slightly homosexual television in the name of love.

Response to Jami: When All Your Friends Are Getting Married

I recently received the following letter:

I have a problem. It seems that all of my good friends are getting married, having kids, settling down, and all that good stuff. Not only do I have little to no desire to do that same, but I also have zero single friends. I'm also not sure where I want to go with my life. I often feel very lonely and like I just don't fit in anywhere.

Please help!

(I hope I made this sound really melo-dramatic. It's all true, but I don't talk about it much so I'm not sure if it sounds over the top or not.)

- Jami

My response is as follows:



Hope that was at least semi-entertaining.

Keep the letters coming, friends. I am having a blast with this. :)

Response to Candid Candice: The Groupie Song

Someone by the user name of Candid Candice posted this question the other day:

So, there is this boy I like at school and he has this band. He is the drummer and the other guys in the band are callow. I don't like them, but he always hangs out with them. So I have to hang out with them when I hang out with him. One of them suggested I be their groupie. My question is thus, what would I have to do as a groupie?

My thoughts on this scenario are expressed in the following song:



That is all.

Response to Groupie #1: The Thing About Mothers

This blog hasn't even been live for two whole days yet and I'm already being swamped with letters! Big thanks to everyone for reading, subscribing, writing in, and encouraging this crazy project! I have had a lot of fun coming up with responses to the questions I have gotten. There should be several videos popping up here over the next few days.

Anyway, without further ado, here is the first letter I received:

Dear Dr. Lauren,

My mother is a real bitch. Bi-polar, two faced, ect ect ect. I can't stand her. I know I won't have to see her often starting soon, due to getting married and moving into my own apartment. How do you suggest I handle her in the mean time?

I would like this question answered in the style of Original Sound trash, possibly sounding like their #1 hit, "Large Intestine".

Signed,

Groupie #1

Groupie #1 happens to be a good friend of mine and a big fan of my band. "Large Intestine" is a song that has only been heard by about three people. But I digress. Here is my attempt at a musical response:



Okay, so the advice itself is probably on the lame side. Sorry Groupie #1. Hopefully you like the song. If not, I can always just record a reprise of "Large Intestine" for you. (Yes world, that song is really about digestive organs. It was written very late at night. There's a reason only three people have ever heard it).

If you are confused by the term "groupie" and want to know what that means, you are in luck! Someone asked me a question about that and I plan to shed some light on it in my next post. Stay tuned!

And if you are in need of some advice in the form of a song, don't hesitate to ask. :)

Introduction

When I was in the sixth grade, I had an advice column in the school newspaper. I added the word "Doctor" in front of my name and offered advice that was at times controversial. Soon, the whole school was hooked on my page of the paper. The column was read and discussed by both kids and teachers alike. Some people loved it. Some people hated it. It almost got yanked from the paper a couple of times. Occasionally, kids threatened to beat me up on the playground because of it.

I found the whole thing to be incredibly entertaining, especially since no one knew the dark secret behind Doctor Lauren's advice column. No one ever wrote letters to me asking for advice, so I wrote letters to myself on a weekly basis and responded to them as if they were real. I usually wasn't very nice in my responses, but it didn't matter since I wasn't writing to real people. Of course, I was the only one who knew this secret (besides my mother, who often helped me come up with the fake letters). Though controversial, Doctor Lauren became somewhat of a sixth grade legend.

I have not attempted to maintain an advice column or anything of the sort since then. I thought I had gotten it all out of my system in the sixth grade. But recently, I came up with this bird-brained idea and thought it was worth trying out. So here it is:

This is an advice column. You can ask me for advice on anything and I will come up with some sort of profound answer for you. Need insight on how to deal with a situation at work? Having trouble with your love life? Don't know what to make for dinner? Leave your troubles in a comment or shoot me an email (hi.im_lauren@hotmail.com) and I will respond to you in this blog.

Of course, there is a catch. This is not your grandmother's advice column. This is a musical advice column. That's right. I will respond to you in the form of a song. I will record a video of it and slap it onto a blog post.

I can play various instruments and am very versatile when it comes to styles. So when you write to me, please specify what style of song you'd like to hear your advice performed in. Also, if you have a preference of instrument, please notify me of this. I can play piano, keyboard, keytar, accordion, and cowbell. I can't promise you that my advice will always be useful, but at the very least it will be entertaining and probably pretty catchy.

And unlike the sixth grade, I am not going to write letters to myself this time. So, this thing depends on you. Go ahead. Ask for advice and you shall receive it in musical form. :)